Academic Acceleration - Our Experience

Saturday, July 5, 2014

4 TO 5 YEAR OLD: PLANNING FOR MATH COMPETITIONS

Deciding what competitions your mathy kid will participate in can be pretty confusing. There are many math competitions out there, and clearly you have to choose. We started out by considering the Continental Math League: the first division they offer is '2nd-3rd Grade', and you can have your child participate as a homeschooler (it is the honor system: you basically proctor your child). I thought that Joey would breeze through this since he is doing 3rd grade math now at home and got an A+ last year in his JHU-CTY accelerated 3rd grade math course, but the reality is that the Continental Math League problems are strictly word problems, and most often not the straightforward kind. So being a four year old who is four grades ahead in math is not a guarantee of success. He did ok on the competition, but did not get a perfect score, so we are spending this year going through every problem in the practice books (one a day), so he starts recognizing problem types and developing strategies to solve them. Since this isn't completely satisfying, I started looking at other competitions, and asking around. And I made a stunning (ok, it was more like a 'duh' moment) discovery: parents who have gifted/mathy kids do NOT accelerate them for competitions. In other words, the competitions are already geared toward gifted kids (duh) and parents wait until the child has reached the typical age for that grade level to enter him/her in the competition (re-duh), even if their child is several grades ahead in math. Now that explains a lot.

I also discovered another competition that younger children can participate in: Kangaroo Math. Apparently, it is very popular, not as word problem-oriented for younger children, and the first division is 1st grade. The competitions happen once a year and are locally administrated. The only thing is that the kids have to learn to use a Scantron answer sheet, but these are available for purchase ahead of time from a variety of places, so you can show your child how to use them. They also have practice books available for purchase.

As your child gets older, the choices for math competitions expand. Apart from the Continental Math League already mentioned (which provides contests through 12th grade), students in 4th-8th grade can participate in Math Olympiads. While the website says that only homeschool associations (not individual homeschoolers) or institute teams (so I assume if there is a math club in your area, that might work) can participate, the form to register does give individual home schools as an option, so I am not sure what the real deal is (but I am trying to find out). JHU-CTY has a prep course for this contest.

Mathcounts is for 6-8th graders and is open to individual homeschoolers. The overall level of the child has to be 6-8th grade, so for instance, a child who would be younger and accelerated only in math would not be eligible. S/he would have to wait until s/he is caught up to at least the 6th grade level in all subjects. The Art of Problem Solving (AOPS) has both online classes and books available to prepare for these contests. JHU-CTY also has online prep classes.

AMC is for 8th graders and under (AMC8), 10th graders and under (AMC10) who have mastered algebra and high school geometry, and 12th graders and under who have mastered pre-calculus. There is no lower age limit to participate, and the web-site states that children as young as 8 have participated. My understanding is that you can participate as a homeschooler, but the your child has to take the test at a private school at the same time as their team or some other proctoring arrangement has to be made. Solving (AOPS) has both online classes and books available to prepare for these contests. JHU-CTY also has online prep classes.

MAA sells prep books for all kinds of math competitions.

For high-schoolers, there is also the Harvard-MIT Mathematics Contest. Unfortunately, all the competitions take place on Saturdays, which is a hindrance to Jewish students who are observant. They require you to be on a team of some sort (a team of homeschoolers who live in the same area would qualify). There is an online version of the tournament, on the same day as the face to face one.

There are many other math competitions, of course, but these seem to be the most popular and those for which prep classes and books are the most widely available.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

4 TO 5 YEARS: THE GIFTED CHILD AND BEHAVIOR ISSUES IN PRESCHOOL

On my previous post, you may have noticed that the picture shown was of Joey graduating (a year early) from pre-school. So you might have thought that his last year in pre-school went perfectly. The first 'semester' was actually great, but not the second, far from it.

The first part of the year went well because the teachers had been prepped by the school director, after we decided not to leave the school after all (see the events that had lead to us considering calling it quits on this previous post). All and all, they didn't know what to expect with Joey (or perhaps they feared the worst). What they got was a child very advanced academically, but who was acting his younger age compared to his classmates.....nothing extreme, behavior-wise, so I think that there was certainly an element of relief at first.

However, in the second part of the year, perhaps due to the pressure of getting all the (other) kids ready academically for KD, not to mention the pressure of preparing the kids for the very important graduation recital, I feel like the lead teacher lost her patience for Joey's 'differences'. Almost every day at some point, there was a bad report coming from school (and never a good report about all the things he could do, of course, because differentiation was basically non-existent). Apparently, he had 'not listening' issues, 'bossy' issues, 'transitions' issues, emerging "class clown' issues, and 'personal space' issues (not extreme, but that needed to be worked on). If you have a gifted child, you probably know that all of these issues are actually quite typical of gifted kids in non-enriched school environments, which I diligently tried to communicate to the teachers (and sent articles, etc.). He also continued not to answer group questions until addressed directly. Joey also started exhibiting signs of stress and anxiety, such as delaying tactics before school, and when I visited his school (it was my turn to do a reading to the class), Joey clang to me as if he had been two years younger.

Don't get me wrong, every time we got a bad report, Joey lost privileges and got a lecture about how to get along with other kids, listen to the teacher, obey, respect personal space, etc. because I am a big believer in showing a united front with the teachers... and he does have listening issues (after observing his behavior for 5 min, the pediatrician told us to read Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic, and it turns out Joey is only 'spunky', not 'spirited', according to this book). But in truth, I have seen Joey being corrected by his teacher about little things which other kids were doing as she spoke. To boot, because the kids in Joey's class were substantially older (not just a year, as many kids nowadays are held back by their parents), he was starting to face isolating behavior by children who perceived him as different, not just because of his academics but because of his younger age. I certainly did not care for this and I saw that as foreboding. While he is not an easy child at home, his behavior at school became increasing dysfunctional compared to home. After one of his bad reports, the school director said something to my nanny to the effect that Joey 'needed to play more'. Joey does play, but his idea of fun is to play for hours with his Elenco 200-in-One Electronic Project Lab, a toy designed for 12 year olds. I did not have the energy to argue at that point because school was almost over. Thankfully. Until next year.

Interestingly, right now, he is in Science Center camp, with new material that is presented to him, almost 1:1 child: counselor ratios, and a relatively quiet environment and Joey is, for the most part, doing great. This is also a more diverse group of children, some with disabilities (ASD, I believe), so by comparison, Joey is more typical.

As the new school year starts, I would like to establish a relationship with a counselor who has experience with highly/exceptionally gifted children, so we can have tune ups whenever issues arise, to give him tools to actively participate even when he is not that interested in what is being taught, behave according to school expectations, deal with the less accepting children, and hopefully make one or two friends. I hope this will do the trick.

Monday, June 9, 2014

4 TO 5 YEAR OLD: SCHOOL CHOICES REVISITED (AND RESOLVED?)

So it finally came down to decision time. Where would Joey go next year in KD? The fact that he is accelerated by one year (in school) - and by four years overall - limited our options to private schools for KD (see this post) because public school around here won't budge about cut-off dates. The fact that we wanted him homeschooled part-days limited our options even further. The Montessori school we were initially considering flatly said that they couldn't meet his needs and that they couldn't accelerate him into the next group (so he would essentially be back with his age peers). I still can't understand why, since the premise of this school is to individualize each child's experience as much as possible. Also, they wouldn't do part-days and wanted 'minimal' input regarding how the education of our son was going to go... so the verdict was definitely 'no'.

The mainstream Jewish school definitely wanted Joey there. He really aced the first screening, in part by drawing this picture to the left when the school director (that's right, they definitely gave him 'special attention'...) asked him to 'draw a triangle", and he ended up drawing this complicated contraption (there is a triangle in there) with belts and pulleys, pawl and ratchets, etc. She was amazed at his creativity and at what she called his spacial visual skills because when she presented him with letter flashcards upside down, he could put them back the right way. Parents of other kids like mine reading this will no doubt chuckle too. Unfortunately, she wouldn't budge on the part-day thing, and that was really too bad because in many respects this school would have been perfect for us. Or would it? The way she tried to convince us that Joey should go full time was by insisting that the other children would reject him because they would see him as 'different' due to his part-day attendance was a red flag. Pointing out that maybe they should be working on these kids instead of on Joey's attendance, and that regardless of whether Joey attended full- or part-time, he would always be 'different', seemed kind of pointless, although we tried. No deal either.

Then the solution (at least I hope it is) appeared out of nowhere. A friend of mine recommended I check out one of the very orthodox Jewish school nearby. And to their credit, they didn't even try to pretend they could accelerate Joey to the level needed to be challenged, and the part-day option was brought up immediately. So, lo and behold, Joey will be going to this school. It will be a challenge socially (we are definitely not orthodox), and it may create issues for Joey in the long run, but we are committed to giving it a try. As I mentioned before, the local program for the highly/exceptionally gifted does not accept children until the 1st grade (and whether they will accept Joey a year early is still unclear, if we apply for next year). To be continued.

What would we have done if the school above had not come through? Full-time homeschooling is definitely still an option, but I think I would have to hire a tutor to teach part of it, in place of our nanny, because being with Joey all day long can be a little intense. I am still intrigued at the idea of having all this extra-time to pursue a sport seriously, for instance (I believe Joey could do really well as a swimmer), since homeschooling a full-time program does not take all day.

4 TO 5 YEARS - UPDATE - WHERE ARE WE NOW ACADEMICALLY?

Wow, only a mere five months or so since the last update! Life happens, right?

Math: We pretty much followed our plan. Joey is now taking Grade 4 Accelerated Math with the John Hopkins Center For Talented Youth (JHU-CTY). We are going slower with traditional tools but we have started with Grade 3 Singapore Math and have now added Beast Academy 3rd Grade, the elementary program from The Art of Problem Solving (which came highly recommended). The graphics are a bit distracting for his age, but he is doing ok with that and is getting more comfortable every day. Joey also did participate as a homeschooler in the Continental Math League (CML) meets for 2nd and 3rd Graders. He did well, but did not get maximum points, so we are doing one of the review problems every day, and will try again next year at the same level until he is ready to progress from there. JHU-CTY offers a course to prepare for the Math Olympiad For Elementary School Students, which he will take if not this year, next, even though he won't be eligible for this type of competition for years. We will also be looking at other math competitions (I will have a post or a page on those soon), but probably not until he is actually physically in 1st Grade. One thing I learned from asking other parents of highly gifted children is that they enter them into the age-appropriate categories to give them a maximum advantage, as opposed to entering them into the level to which they are normally accelerated. So we will do the same..

Language Arts: We have finally gotten Joey's reading tested, using a great program called Total Reader, and his lexile came at 910, if we let him look up words in the dictionary (he has started being able to do this on his own), and 750 if we don't. The latter score is toward the end of 3rd grade (see correspondence chart here) and the former somewhere in 5th grade. We are almost done with the Kumon workbooks (Reading, writing, simple sentences, etc) and will soon start with the Michael Clay Thompson curriculum, which looks really promising and I believe will take his skills to the next level.

Science: We have started Building Foundations of Scientific Understanding: A Science Curriculum for K-2 and let me tell you that I absolutely love this program. It is concept-centered, rather than experiment-centered. What that means is that instead of introducing concepts through what I call 'wow' experiments, which in my opinion can be very distracting, it starts with the concepts, then illustrates with very simple and targeted experiments or observations. The concepts are organized in a map from simple to more complex. If I had written a book on how to teach kids science without underestimating them, I would have written this book. Joey is also in camp at the local Science Center this summer, but it is always so hard to tell whether there is actually any learning going on.

Languages: we are continuing with our formal French program (all the details are here) and so far, so good (we have hired a tutor who comes in every other week to check on his progress)! Joey will also be in an immersion French camp this summer for a week. While he still resists speaking French to me, although he is bilingual, he is clearly absorbing the material. For Hebrew, we are done with Shalom alef bet!: A pre-primer for Shalom Uvrachah and with Shalom Uvrachah: The New Hebrew Primer, so we are moving on to the Hineni series, which comes with separate workbooks, until he is a fluent reader. We will also supplement with the Artscroll Children's Siddur to make sure he starts becoming solid on the basic Jewish prayers and blessings. Once Joey can read Hebrew fluently, then we will devise a program similar to what we are doing in French. I will have a separate post to teach Judaics for those who might be interested.

Geography/History: We are still sticking with Replogle 12" Intelliglobe; there aren't enough hours in the day to add anything else!

Other: I will have separate posts on all of Joey's 'engineering' activities!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

4 TO 5 YEARS: UPDATE ON THE VIOLIN AND MUSIC

When Joey first started the violin, I had my doubts about the Suzuki method. But now I admit that I am completely sold on it. Joey has made so much progress in the six months since he started with a real violin (this is my opinion, and I am not a musician myself, but his music teacher seems to be pleased). But of course, I think this is more than the method because Joey took to reading music like a fish to water, so technically, I am not sure we are still doing 'pure Suzuki', except for using the books and the amount of caretaker involvement. He is completely ahead of us in his ability to read, absorb, and apply the material, although we try to keep up so we can provide direction.

Joey is even starting to write his own music for fun (nothing extraordinary, but the interest is definitely there). He also started playing the same tunes on his little piano (with one finger). But the most amazing aspect of this for me is that he is developing a real ear for music, i.e. he knows when the violin has to be tuned before we do, and I have come to really trust his judgement.

His progress has been constant, up the point when he had to prepare for his first 'public performance' (to play in front of a few friends and also at his birthday party which coincided with Chanukah). We worked him really hard so he would master "I have a Little Dreidel" well enough to produce a relatively flawless recording of the song in its entirety. He did not perform flawlessly in front of the real audiences, but he really found that zone of concentration where nothing could distract him from getting through the tune as best as he could, and he concentrated very hard.. well beyond his years. This was a real lesson in grit.... the satisfaction that comes from success and recognition after a lot of hard work. After that experience, he now knows the amount of effort involved with preparing for a live performance and he knows he can succeed. I think that in the two videos I have recorded after 'I have a Little Dreidel' (see below), one can see his boost in confidence and improvement in technique. For up to date information and videos on Joey's violin progress, please consider checking out (and perhaps subscribing) to my Youtube channel at https://www.youtube.com/user/Carolerivi

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4 TO 5 YEARS: PRE-ENGINEERING SKILLS AND (PERHAPS) PREPARING FOR JR FIRST LEGO LEAGUE

Assuming advanced math skills are a pre-requisite to becoming an engineer and a fascination with biology necessary to becoming a physician, then Joey has a better chance of becoming an engineer at this point than anything else. But is it sufficient? Probably not. So far, our educational efforts have been pretty didactic, so focused on basic memorization, understanding, and applying.

But now we would like to start encouraging the development of critical thinking and creative skills. What is interesting about it is that regular pre-schools start with those (especially creative skills), but there is no foundational knowledge children can base their creations on, so they can only go so far. Along with the limitations of normal development, this is in part why, in my opinion, there is not much sense in the many crafts and drawings produced in this environment.

Joey is definitely interested in building and designing things, and his focus is good enough to get him to actually produce things that have a story behind them and that 'work' in one respect or another. For a while, he was obsessed with marble runs, such as the Marbulous. At school, he kept making or improving those for other children. We tried several other things to grow from there (I didn't think that regular Legos engaged the creative process that much, so we actually stayed away from those), but Joey's building skills remained dormant until he started playing with the wonderful Elenco Snap Circuits. We had gotten these since he was two years old, and we used that for the purpose of teaching him to follow more complex directions and some simple electricity concepts. Then, we he was about three and a half, he started using them on his own and following the directions, in addition to trying out some of his own modifications. Now I do think that the educational value of Snap Circuits is limited because there is very little trouble-shooting involved or options for permutations in the manual (for example, to determine the effect of different capacitors, etc). Fortunately, Snap Circuits are pretty heavily reviewed by parents who have engineering backgrounds, so it helped us decide that a similar toy that required higher thinking skills was the Elenco 130-in-1 Electronic Playground and Learning Center (we started with the one offering 130 projects). Basically, all the components are on a board, but they get connected differently through wires (springs that you can bend hold the wires in place) and it encourages experimentations with the different components in a way that Snap Circuits do not. Joey can do the basic projects on his own, but he needs help with the permutations (variations on the basic project) and any trouble shooting at this point (this is a toy normally designed for 12 and older). He does not love it as much as the Snap Circuits, but I expect this will change.

Another building toy that Joey loves is the Straws Builders 720 pcs set. This is a wonderful toy in terms of promoting creativity and I love its simplicity.

Legos and Jr FIRST Lego League: a natural way to encourage the development of engineering skills is participation in the Jr FIRST Lego League, normally tailored for 6 to 8 year olds (K-3). The next program is the FIRST Lego League (Grades 4-8), and finally the FIRST Tech Challenge (Grades 7-12) and FIRST Robotics (Grades 9-12). I am still wrapping my mind around these programs and how one goes from just participating to being invited to actual competitions, but I assume that this will become clearer as time goes on.

This program is not just about engineering, but also general creativity, teamwork, presentation skills, and organization. It is so highly regarded that a slew of scholarships (some full rides) are available for kids who have a history of participation and participation is also a real plus for admission to some of the most prestigious schools, particularly (not surprisingly) engineering programs.

The pickle is that it takes time to coach and be in a team (about 4 hours a week plus individual prep work during the season which roughly runs from November through April). This is not a playgroup but a real commitment, like a sports team. My plan at this juncture is to have a 'pre-team' (no competition yet) next academic year (so starting in fall 2014) that would basically prepare for the challenge as if they were going to participate, and then start competing the following year, once we have ironed out the kinks in the team and our process. There is also a list of past challenges that I can use for additional ideas. The challenges have an engineering component (design a machine that would help solve the problem) which requires research, a preliminary design, improvements, and a presentation. So it is important to understand that a lot of the work actually involves no handling of Legos (although every meeting can have some Lego time, but they are not necessarily the focus). Like in any team, the kids don't have to have the same strengths, so maybe there is the engineering geek, but there is the kid who is good at researching and presenting, although all should participate in all the activities because the point is for everyone to learn. The daily guidance is provided by the coach (that would be me), but every team also needs a mentor (someone who is an engineer), so this is a person I would have to identify sometime in summer 2014.

I sort of have a preliminary plan for a mock challenge season. I can put a timeline together based on this:

1. Study topic and come up with ideas

2. Draw ideas

3. Come up with preliminary designs (with actual Legos)

4. Run designs by engineer

5. Execute a prototype

6. Refine design with CAD program (Lego has a CAD program), comparing different options for mechanical components

7. Execute design

8. Prepare presentation and practice answering questions about the design

9. Study more background information to be prepared to answer more advanced questions

For the purpose of preparing for this mock season, we have started getting the Educational Legos that are required (or suggested) for the Jr Lego Leagues. These can be purchased directly from the Educational Lego site prior to registering a team. They have kits for homeschools (so 'single' kits but with teachers' guides) and we have found that it has been really helpful to learn the simple machines (like levers) and other components that will go into more complex designs to solve the challenges presented. Joey absolutely loves doing this.

The challenge of finding a team-mate: I think that we will stick to a two person team at first, but finding a child whose parents are ok working with a younger but highly gifted kid may not be so easy. Right now, I am making inquiries in our circle of friends who have proven non-threatened by the gifted label and whose children may have skills that complement Joey's.

If any one reading this blog has any advice to offer regarding participating in Lego competitions, I would love to hear from them!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

4 TO 5 YEARS: WHERE ARE WE NOW ACADEMICALLY?

It has been a while since I updated this blog, and Joey turned four recently in December 2013, so I think it is time to take stock of where we are at, academically.

Math: the last update I provided was in October 2013. At the time, Joey was taking Grade 3 Accelerated Math with the John Hopkins Center For Talented Youth, which we love. Even though he completed 3rd grade in a little over a month (with an A+), we thought that he wasn't as solid on these skills as he would have been in a real classroom, so we decided to wait until next fall (fall 2014) to continue with 4th grade math with this program. In the meantime, we are still doing Grade 2 Singapore Math (we are about half-way) and will probably start 3rd Grade next fall, right about the time Joey will tackle Grade 4 Math with JHU-CTY. Another area we thought we should focus on before moving on to 4th Grade math were word problems, the kind where you have to generate an equation and then solve it. Solving simple algebra equations (up to two unknowns, depending on the problem) is not an issue for Joey, but generating them from a word problem is still a struggle. JHU-CTY provided a lot of help in generating equations, and I think this is a limitation of this program. So we decided to have Joey participate in the Continental Math League (CML) meets for 2nd and 3rd Graders, and we registered as a homeschool for this purpose. Honestly, these problems are hard for Joey because they are meant to challenge gifted 7 and 8 year olds and as all word problems do, they require the integration of math skills with language art skills, as well as some real world knowledge. But we are not giving up, and one strategy that has been helping significantly has been to group the problems by type because, at least until much higher thinking skills are involved, this is a lot about pattern recognition. After we finish CML for this year, we will wrap up all 2nd grade math by reviewing any material that Joey masters less than perfectly, and we will be off to 3rd grade math for good by the time he is 4 years and a half.

Language Arts: this is a difficult one because I have been struggling trying to figure out where Joey is with reading comprehension (his reading fluency is probably 3-4th grade now). He understands most of the material presented in the Lakeshore Learning Read & Comprehend Science Activity Folders (Grade 2), so I know he is about four grades ahead in reading comprehension. However, I wanted to get some practice with grammar and writing, so on the advice of a wonderful lady whose child is also highly gifted, we have been doing the Kumon workbooks (Reading, writing, simple sentences, etc) and to be safe, we started at 1st grade. Joey is zooming through the material, and I think that once he gets through 2nd grade, we will switch to an actual language arts curriculum, and I believe we will choose the Michael Clay Thompson curriculum, which came highly recommended and starts at about the 3rd grade level.

Science: we are currently doing the Thames & Kosmos Little Labs Stepping into Science, but this is not Joey's only exposure to science. Since he showed some interest in chemistry (see November 2013 update), we also got him The Periodic Table: Elements with Style! and Basher Science: Chemistry: Getting a Big Reaction, which he loves. This is in addition to the 'Class of Their Own' books (Bacteria, Fungi, Archea, Protists - but no viruses, don't ask me why..). In the future, we are considering Building Foundations of Scientific Understanding: A Science Curriculum for K-2 along with The Story of Science: Aristotle Leads the Way (the whole series); other possibilities are Real Science for Kids, Inquiry in Action, Super-Charged science, or Science Fusion.

Languages: we have just started a more structured program in French (all the details are here) and Hebrew with Shalom alef bet!: A pre-primer for Shalom Uvrachah. I think we will stay with this series until Joey can read Hebrew fluently, then we will devise a program similar to what we are doing in French. I will have a separate post to teach Judaics for those who might be interested.

Geography/History: I think we will start history with A History of US: Eleven-Volume Set: Paperback Set, but in the meantime, we are sticking with simple geography (currently with Replogle 12" Intelliglobe ; the advantage of this toy is that there is a French option in addition to English).

Other: we are also continuing with the wonderful Building Thinking Skills® Level 1, which is good through 3rd Grade.

Monday, November 4, 2013

3 TO 4 YEARS: CREATING A SPACE FOR EFFECTIVE HOMESCHOOLING

If at all possible, I believe that it is important to have a separate space for schoolwork. Just like adults, children need to be able to have a space, relatively free of distractions, to focus, a space that communicates, without words, that a different kind of play is to take place 'there'. What does that look like for a young child? In my mind, it looks like a bright room that is colorful but in an age-appropriate manner (perhaps lots of contrasts for a baby and becomes more neutral as the child gets older). That's why I love this sunroom on the second floor of our home. It is separated by a soft retractable gate from my son's bedroom, below. This separation ensures that Joey does not touch any of the school stuff in his off hours because some of it is not appropriate to be used without supervision. This separation is also psychological because he too needs some downtime.

In his bedroom, there is a little piano (which he can play when he wants), and lots of books that he is currently allowed to switch at will (so he is allowed to get out of bed to change books if he wants to, something he was not allowed to do when he turned three and we switched to a big boy bed). He can have up to five books in his bed or night table. We keep regular toys in a toy box in our living room downstairs and there are also some toys we keep in a closet in his bedroom, and which we only take out for quiet time (now replacing naps on the week-ends). The relative lack of distractions in his bedroom is really helpful, I think, because he ends up spending a lot of time reading or drawing/writing on a doodle pad if he doesn't want to sleep. Note that the bookshelf is secured to the wall. Regarding the rest of his bedroom/schoolroom set up, I believe several elements are conducive to achieving good results:

A desk area: this may seem obvious, but a good, age-appropriate desk is really important to host learning activities, particularly anything involving writing, drawing, or computer work. For other work, however, I believe it is important to be willing to keep switching locations (like the floor) for young children because they don't want to be sitting at a desk non-stop for hours. Note the clock, which helps reinforce reading the time, the handy roll of paper, and the posted schedule. Also, unless you are buying really good quality furniture, plan on a plexiglas protective cover for the desk because preschoolers put a lot of pressure on pens and ours needs to be replaced a year after we purchased it because it is full of scratches.

A lot of easily accessible storage: again, this may seem obvious, but it is important to have good storage to keep teaching books and other learning material well organized and yet readily accessible. We opted for these open cubbies, but if you do the same, be sure they are super-stable or secured to the wall, if you have the kind of child who will try to climb on them. This is also why we keep a gate between the work area, where Joey is always supervised, and Joey's bedroom, where of course he spends his sleeping hours unsupervised. These cubbies are also great to keep a child laptop and DVD player out of little hands' reach.

A reading corner: apart from the ability to read in bed, a comfortable chair in a little corner makes the perfect quiet place to read. Note the magnetic calendar to help reinforce calendaring skills. We use the Educational Insights Geosafari Talking Globe Jr. to teach geography.

A music corner: this one has to be as free of distractions as possible, but clearly, for us, it is just a little corner of our mini-classroom. We have been doing Suzuki violin, and after a while, I felt it was important to get a stand and a music pointer.

And finally, an award or achievement wall: as your child has been working hard to take classes early, get into Mensa, or participate in Continental Math Leagues, display his achievements on a special wall. It will be a good reminder (for you and him) that hard work pays off!

Sunday, October 13, 2013

3 TO 4 YEARS: RAISING A CHILD AT THE CROSSROAD OF SEVERAL CULTURES

Raising children in any culture is hard. In other places in this blog (here and there), I talk about the fact that a lot of my parenting has to do with being a French and Jewish mother raising a child in the U.S.

What is a French mother? Apart from the information you will find in 'Bringing up Bebe' and 'French Children Eat Everything', French parents tend to be a lot stricter when children are young and then relax considerably once the little ones reach their teenage years. In other words, it is the opposite of what the book series 'Baby Wise' describes as 'credit card parenting', which consists of looking the other way when children are young, but potentially dealing with bigger problems later: I would say that in France, issues, particularly when they relate to manners, are dealt with head on, early on, and with little compromise, which is why children in France tend to be better behaved in adult situations (restaurants, stores) than their American counterparts and why parental relationships with teenage children tend to be somewhat less fraught with conflict. For instance, Joey always knew that misbehaving in a restaurant was an absolute no-no, and he never doubted that a harsh punishment was coming if he did. Not taking him to fancy restaurants never crossed our mind because I don't like the idea of having him baby-sat during what I perceive is an important family and educational time: I wanted him to appreciate different foods (we never order from children's menus, even if they are available) and the whole experience of dining out. So nowadays, he needs relatively little in the way of distractions, although we do bring them along. Of course, there are many other considerable differences between the American and French culture when it comes to children and what good parenting is perceived to be, and I never fully grasped the magnitude of these differences until I had a child here. Behavior of parents in public is another example: In France, parents tend to be at their strictest in public, because this is what people around them define as good parenting. French people would disapprove if a misbehaving child were NOT tersely chastised. Actually, instead of looking the other way, they would probably take the matter into their own hands and while usually stopping short of physical punishment (although old ladies have been known to pull ears!), they would definitely correct the child verbally. This would be perceived as helpful to the parents. In the U.S. however, while unruly children do get stares, so do parents who try to correct them beyond redirection. Therefore, I had to alter my 'public' style here to fit in...

Another example of U.S.-France cultural divide is my aversion to letting (and seeing) young toddlers eat non-finger food with their hands. This is something I will never get used to, and find otherwise cute children with food on their face, hands, and even on the table completely unappealing. So we worked hard to teach Joey to use silverware (except for knives!), and before he could do it well, he was fed by an adult. I actually think that our insistence on this contributed to his amazing fine motor skills (he writes very well for his age and is also making steady progress with the violin). Also, I really don't like the constant hovering when children are playing... at least as long as no one gets hurt. Joey, since he prefers hanging out with older children, is not usually the dominant child, but this obsession about 'sharing' is over the top in my opinion. Of course, when he is with younger children, I always make sure he is kind and careful, but otherwise, I don't like to play referee and I sense that this too is a cultural thing. What else? In France, kids learn to play on their own, even for extended periods of time, but here, I feel like parents are expected to provide non-stop entertainment, and I feel it is not a good thing for either parent or child.

What about Jewish parenting? It is definitely a huge part of what I do, even though it stands is complete contradiction with the things I just talked about: there is an element of fear of separation in my parenting, which I cannot overcome. Perhaps it is because parents and children were so often separated during the Holocaust, but I have recurrent nightmares about Joey getting lost or being taken away. To this day, I have not gone on an overnight trip without my son, and I am not planning to for the foreseeable future. I also constantly plan, hover, worry about his food, education, health and safety but maybe so does every other mother, although I probably do it a smidgen more. While I am very strict with Joey (like a French mother would be), there is also a lot of physical and verbal expressions of affection, at home and in public, and I don't think that Joey ever doubts that he is the most important thing in my life.

The bottom line is that I am not entirely sure which aspect of my parenting comes from one place or another, and I suspect that many multicultural parents feel the same. I guess if I had to describe the way Joey is raised, I would say that he is equally 'Ferberized' and 'Fockerized'!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

3 TO 4 YEARS: YOUNG CHILDREN AND COMPUTERS

This is not going to be a very long post because at Joey's age, we have only scratched the surface of all the issues surrounding a child's handling of a computer and online presence.

When Joey got accepted into the John Hopkins Center for Talented Youth at three years of age, that meant we had to get him or let him use a computer. We really did not have a good set-up in his play room to have him use a desktop (although this is actually a good solution because apart from the keyboard, which they can drop, there is relatively little a small child can do to a desktop computer, in terms of damaging it, as long as you keep liquids away). So we were in the market for a 'kid-rugged' notebook or a notebook specifically labeled for 'classroom use'. Of course, Joey does not go anywhere with his laptop, but you know what 'any drop' will do to the average computer, so it seemed like an investment of a few extra $100s would be worth it (we could have gotten a cheap notebook for about half the price). I even looked into tablets but these do not have the functionality of computers, are still quite expensive, and are not damage- resistant either. Kid-rugged computers are spill-resistant and will also resist drops of a couple of feet. Other rugged notebooks are in the market and offer more resistance to all kinds of mishaps, but the price tag is typically well over $1,000 and usually over several $1,000s because they are designed for professional use.

Our first try was the PeeWee PC, and here, I have to make an exception to the rule of 'not saying anything if you have nothing nice to say' because we have tried to purchase products from this company on two occasions, i.e. gave payment information, got a confirmation email etc. yet, our orders were basically ignored. The first time, after sending several follow-up emails, I finally heard from someone who said that they were changing their systems, and that was why I hadn't heard about my order in over a month. Fair enough, but since I was spending several $$$ on a computer that might need support, I took my business elsewhere. Recently, I tried again, for a smaller item (an optical drive). I did this because I had forgotten about my prior experience and their web site is so attractive...Same problem.. haven't heard in a month, so I am done.

Instead, we bought a classroom laptop from M&A technology: the Companion PC 2600. It is small (but not too small), rugged, and functional. It does not come with special parental controls or programs. It runs on a Windows XP platform (it comes with a trial of Windows 7, but reverts to XP once the trial ends), so not exactly cutting edge or fast, but we don't need fast and a lot of bells and whistles. The staff at the company was responsive and efficient. When Joey first got the computer, we trained him to use the basic commands using a great (and free) resource at e-Learning for Kids.

Regarding the lack of parental controls, this was my first attempt at trying to figure out what choices there were and understand what exactly parental control software does. The bad news is that all the softwares which are reviewed out there, even some of the most popular ones, have some pretty big gaps or flaws. And for us, it did not really make sense to monitor social media, since of course Joey does not have access to it at his age. Purchasing a special software at this stage seemed over the top, but if you know of one that you love and never lets you down, I would love to hear from you!

So our solution for the time being consisted of: 1. Locking Google SafeSearch on, since Joey does not have the password to his own google account and 2. Removing all shortcuts to programs on the start menu, except for the few we allow him to use. Clearly, this is a temporary solution which works because of his limited and always supervised access to the computer, even now (so it is never used as a source of entertainment, and he never really have a chance to 'explore' all the features); and his age... I am sure that we will have to resort to more sophisticated measures once he really becomes proficient.

One tool I do find very useful is the "YouTube Sanitizer". It basically keeps the YouTube website from suggesting other videos, which might be either non-relevant or not appropriate for your child.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

3 TO 4 YEARS OLD: CAN YOU TEACH THE VIRTUES OF DELAYED GRATIFICATION AND WORK ETHICS (GRIT)?

The short answer is that 'I have no idea'. There is a very good article about teaching conscientiousness to children, and not just strive for 'happiness' at http://tinyurl.com/lu6vqp5. Not surprisingly, research shows that children who are industrious, orderly, and have good self-control are more likely than their careless or undisciplined peers to grow into happy adults. This has also been shown with the classic Stanford Marshmallow experiment.

So we have tried with Joey. First, we used Ferber when Joey was a baby and then Baby Wise. These two methods really worked for us and Joey basically got used to waiting a bit when he needed or wanted something. We almost never had any issues with sleeplessness (he slept through the night at six weeks of age) or getting out of bed once he was moved from the crib to a toddler bed. His behavior in nice restaurants is (usually) excellent, and we get regular compliments. We have never used a pacifier or food to insure good behavior. It is hard sometimes, but we see some kids who are always snacking when they are supposed to be on good behavior, and we just don't want to do that. Baby Wise in particular teaches the concept that you have to parent the child and not their emotions.

Lately, we have instituted another rule: when Joey wants (yet) another car, he has to earn it, so he performs a very simple task (taking out a T-shirt he will wear that night and a pull-up) and laying them out very neatly on one of his night tables. He makes 10 cents a night for his job, and we have a special Save, Spend, Share Money Box , and he keeps a tally every night of how much he has left to earn to get the car (I tell him the cars are $1.00, so the goal does not take too long to achieve.. he has to save 1 cent and share 1 cent every time, so he accumulates 8 cents a night). I really wasn't planning to do the allowance thing for quite a while, but I had noticed that Joey was starting to develop a certain sense of entitlement, and I didn't like where this was going: since he can read, he got a hold of the many toy catalogues we received and started asking for things, a lot of them... so I felt that it was time to start teaching him the concept that money does not grow on trees and has to be earned, and that's how you can buy things. At first I felt bad for doing that because who does not want to spoil their child and let them hang on to the illusion that they can just 'get' when they ask because we are fortunate enough to be able to provide that illusion. But I felt that I had to withhold love to love better, and this was difficult. Also, I really did not want to pay him for a chore that I consider just 'good citizenship' (my initial idea was to give him an allowance when he was older but not as an exchange for being a good citizen in our home and doing his fair share, with the possibility of paying him for tasks that were above and beyond), but since he is so young, there are just not that many things he can handle that wouldn't end up giving us more work in the end, so this simple job works for us right now... and I can tell you that when he earned his first car, this was definitely a special moment for him. That car is clearly extra valuable to him, and we made sure to make a big deal about it. That feeling is what we were after, so this was a successful experiment. We still ask him to do other things as well, like go throw things in the garbage or recycle, help putting away paper towels, put his dirty clothes in the hamper, and so forth.

So that's for delayed gratification. In terms of instilling work ethics, I think it is a matter of setting and sticking to expectations. Joey loves doing his learning program, especially math, most days, but not every day. So on the days he does not want to do it, he spends time in the 'time out' chair because we insist on a minimum amount of work every single day (except on the week-end) because as I tell him... life is not about doing what you want when you want. This may seem like a lot to expect from a three year old, but conforming to expectations and group dynamics is actually a lot of what even regular pre-school focuses on, and it is particularly important in the case of an only child dotted on by three adults at home (parents and nanny). When Joey does well, which is often, I tend to focus on his effort rather than his abilities, as the latest research advises. Will Joey eventually be completely self-motivated? I certainly hope so, as I know he is capable of incredible focus and motivation now, but only time will tell.

There is some interesting research about grit by Dr. Angela Duckworth, on which she gave a very compelling talk, which you can find here and you can fine another excellent article about grit and disciplinarian instruction there. It turns out that grit is a little more than just work ethics: it is perseverance in the face of challenge. The good news is that with challenge and effort, it appears that you can change the ability of the brain to to learn for the better. The bad news is that in our school system, often times the brain of naturally gifted children is not challenged. So not only do their brains' natural abilities 'atrophy', but they also acquire terrible study habits (or rather no study habits) because for the first few years, everything is so easy and boring, and they don't need to work at them at all to 'do well', i.e. get good grades. Once they are further along, though, they eventually have to compete with the grittier kids, the ones who perhaps did not start out with as much innate brain power, but because they were motivated to begin with and had to work at it, ended up doing just as well, and with good study habits to boot. This would explain why many gifted kids do not necessarily end up as successful individuals in the end. So as I have already alluded to in my other post ('Why The Rush?'), that's why I firmly believe that letting a gifted kid 'cruise' through school, in order to avoid dealing with the challenge of pestering schools to differentiate and accelerate, is NOT a neutral decision, it is a harmful one for that child.