On my previous post, you may have noticed that the picture shown was of Joey graduating (a year early) from pre-school. So you might have thought that his last year in pre-school went perfectly. The first 'semester' was actually great, but not the second, far from it.
The first part of the year went well because the teachers had been prepped by the school director, after we decided not to leave the school after all (see the events that had lead to us considering calling it quits on this previous post). All and all, they didn't know what to expect with Joey (or perhaps they feared the worst). What they got was a child very advanced academically, but who was acting his younger age compared to his classmates.....nothing extreme, behavior-wise, so I think that there was certainly an element of relief at first.
However, in the second part of the year, perhaps due to the pressure of getting all the (other) kids ready academically for KD, not to mention the pressure of preparing the kids for the very important graduation recital, I feel like the lead teacher lost her patience for Joey's 'differences'. Almost every day at some point, there was a bad report coming from school (and never a good report about all the things he could do, of course, because differentiation was basically non-existent). Apparently, he had 'not listening' issues, 'bossy' issues, 'transitions' issues, emerging "class clown' issues, and 'personal space' issues (not extreme, but that needed to be worked on). If you have a gifted child, you probably know that all of these issues are actually quite typical of gifted kids in non-enriched school environments, which I diligently tried to communicate to the teachers (and sent articles, etc.). He also continued not to answer group questions until addressed directly. Joey also started exhibiting signs of stress and anxiety, such as delaying tactics before school, and when I visited his school (it was my turn to do a reading to the class), Joey clang to me as if he had been two years younger.
Don't get me wrong, every time we got a bad report, Joey lost privileges and got a lecture about how to get along with other kids, listen to the teacher, obey, respect personal space, etc. because I am a big believer in showing a united front with the teachers... and he does have listening issues (after observing his behavior for 5 min, the pediatrician told us to read Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic, and it turns out Joey is only 'spunky', not 'spirited', according to this book). But in truth, I have seen Joey being corrected by his teacher about little things which other kids were doing as she spoke. To boot, because the kids in Joey's class were substantially older (not just a year, as many kids nowadays are held back by their parents), he was starting to face isolating behavior by children who perceived him as different, not just because of his academics but because of his younger age. I certainly did not care for this and I saw that as foreboding. While he is not an easy child at home, his behavior at school became increasing dysfunctional compared to home. After one of his bad reports, the school director said something to my nanny to the effect that Joey 'needed to play more'. Joey does play, but his idea of fun is to play for hours with his Elenco 200-in-One Electronic Project Lab, a toy designed for 12 year olds. I did not have the energy to argue at that point because school was almost over. Thankfully. Until next year.
Interestingly, right now, he is in Science Center camp, with new material that is presented to him, almost 1:1 child: counselor ratios, and a relatively quiet environment and Joey is, for the most part, doing great. This is also a more diverse group of children, some with disabilities (ASD, I believe), so by comparison, Joey is more typical.
As the new school year starts, I would like to establish a relationship with a counselor who has experience with highly/exceptionally gifted children, so we can have tune ups whenever issues arise, to give him tools to actively participate even when he is not that interested in what is being taught, behave according to school expectations, deal with the less accepting children, and hopefully make one or two friends. I hope this will do the trick.
